the gory details, pt. 1

When I made the big announcement regarding my pregnancy, one commenter wrote that she wanted to hear all the gory details. Well, here are some of them.

I'm feeling nothing of the happiness and love that Ms. Feisty is currently experiencing. Rather, I'm feeling a bit of resentment.

Early pregnancy sucks. Pure and simple.

First, there's the nausea and general malaise.

Then there's the constant threat/worry of miscarriage.

Then there are the big announcements, which may or may not be welcomed by certain parties (ie. employers).

Then there's having to go to social functions without the benefit of booze. Do you know how lame a wedding is without booze? Or how about the entire 4th of July weekend? Barbecues? It's excruciatingly tough.

Then there's the crazy second semester stuff: headaches, bloody noses, shortness of breath and a rapidly decreasing wardrobe because NOTHING FITS ANYMORE.

Then there are the thoughts that, "Holy fuck, I no longer have freedom. I will have this kid forever. I won't be able to travel anymore. The phrase 'footloose and fancy free' no longer applies."

Then there's the really disappointing meeting with your bosses when they tell you what they're going to give you for maternity leave.

Then there's the realization that anything fun I planned to do before the baby comes is now out of the question because all my money is now going toward baby-related items, not the least of which is our survival during the period when I will be receiving no compensation from my employers. My last big fling to New Orleans I was going to take in October? Gone. The Wii I wanted for my birthday? Nope. Fuck fuck fuck.

And what benefits have I experienced so far? I heard the heartbeat.

This may sound cold, but 15+ weeks in, I don't feel like I've bonded much with the baby. I mean, what is there to bond to? You can't feel it, you have no relationship to it, and all it seems to have done so far is interrupt my life.

I went out at lunch today, and I met an acquaintance on the street. As soon as she saw me, she showered me with congratulations and excitement. As we were separating, she said, "It's SO worth it."

"I hope so," I said. And I really do because, right now, it's the pits.

little houses made of ticky tacky

Or, as the case may be, Laffy Taffy. Or Ding Dongs. Or Big Macs and Cokes from the McDonalds drive-thru.

I don't know if you remember a couple months ago when Anna Wintour made a statement regarding her observations of Minnesotans' obese tendencies. These were her words:

I'd just been on a trip to Minnesota, where I can only describe most of the people I saw as little houses.

I was miffed at the time I first read the quote. I mean, Minnesota is generally known as one of the healthiest places to live. Clean air, clean water, clean environment, readily-available medical care--the list goes on and on.

Yes, people in the Midwest are sometimes described as being "thicker" than those living in warmer climes. And I am among those "thicker" types.

But, hell, at least I'm not from the South.

Once again, the South has dominated the obesity contests, as recently reported in this report. And where does Minnesota come in?

31st.

We're below the median. And many notable states, such as Pennsylvania, Washington and Oregon, rank higher (more obese) than Minnesota.

So if most of the people in Minnesota are little houses, does that mean most of the people in these other states are little mansions, little office buildings or little Pentagons?

Really, though, in light of the findings of the report, I just want to tell Anna Wintour to go suck it. Why single Minnesota out when it's doing better than the balance of the country?

Don't pick on my state unless you want my wrath, bitch. Oh, and Anna? Your hair is ugly.

finally

The great state of Minnesota finally has its second senator. Only seven months or so late.

Yay for Al Franken! And for the Minnesota Supreme Court!

My fetus and I are happy. I'm proud of my blue state.

Now all this assumes that Norm Coleman won't file yet another appeal, which I suppose he could, but I think he'd waste a large chunk of the little political capital he has left if he pulled that move.
So, warily I say again, yay!

Now I'm curious to see what the Senate can do.

you know what's good?

A mid-pregnancy fountain coke from McDonalds. It's almost as good as a morning-after-a-bender fountain coke from McDonalds. Almost.*

So, yeah, I'm pregnant. Just kicked off the second trimester, and I think I'm going to like it. Compared to the first trimester, though, I'm sure just about anything would be an upgrade.

I reached the big milestone of 13 weeks this past Sunday. On Monday, I still felt the pukey affecting my every move, just waiting for the opportunity to pounce and launch me into a series of dry heaves.

Yesterday, though. Yesterday, I felt pretty damn good. And it was weird, I actually didn't get sick from eating. No dry heaves at all. I even helped Mr. W eat an entire bowl of popcorn, which I hadn't been able to do for the past 7 weeks or so.

And today? A craving. For a Big Mac.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's not healthy or organic or gourmet, but, f$%&, was it good.

I know I'm going to have to rein it in and start eating the healthy stuff for the baby's development, blah blah blah, but for today, or this afternoon at least, I'm going to revel in my eating prowess.

On that note, I'm off to find me a Milky Way.

*I actually used the time it took me to travel between the drive thru and my workplace to analyze which was better. On one hand, in light of the fact that I have not had caffeine in over a week, the coke I had for lunch today was really fantastic. On the other, as I'm sure all my (two) readers know, that coke during a hangover, when you're parched and tired and headachy and nauseous and know you're going to have episodic diarrhea, is super really amazing fantastic. So hangover coke won.

liveblogging a court appearance

So...I'm again waiting for a hearing to begin, and this time I'm spending the time marveling at the sight of a 65+ year old woman wearing a fake blonde Barbie doll pony tail perched perkily atop her old lady blow out. I guess some people done get gussied up for court!

liveblogging a tribute concert

I'm sitting at a concert in which the various artists are performing their renditions of Johnny Cash and Neil Young songs.

I just heard one of said artists didjeridoo "Sugar Mountain".

I have lived.

in need of a new home

So...after much deliberation, I've decided that I need to find my kitty Lola a new home. She's a sweet cat but independent. Definitely not a lap cat.

I'll be sad to let her go.

If you know of anyone who may be interested, please let me know.